This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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