i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
