Me too!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
