who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
