I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
