Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
