Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
