I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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