Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
