Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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