just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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