he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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