I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
