I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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