my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
