I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
