Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
