Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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