it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
