Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Randomize
