So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
