Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So much Jack, so little girl.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
