By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
