Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
