My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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