All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
