u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
