you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
