Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
