so that wasnt chicken after all
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
