And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
