You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
