peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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