My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
