Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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