Pappa wants mamma naked
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
