It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
