I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
