I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
