Do you still have your period?
accomplished twins. life is a go
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's official drugs can't kill me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
