it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
