Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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