The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
