Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
