Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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