the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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