So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The air was thick with penises
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
