So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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