Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
