No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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