and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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